Movies I-wanna-see Rises

First things first. You may notice a small difference in the title of this blog. Yeah, I figured that since I usually spend weeks to perfectly tune each blog post to be absolutely perfect, it's not so Fast any more, is it. So with just changing one letter I made a reference to a british sketch comedy a reference of a rarely-seen arthouse film. And what does "Last" mean? Is this the last, final word on movies and you don't need to turn to any other blogs for advice afterwards? Or is it just that each post takes so long that this will be the last one to report? You be the judge. As I'm fairly sure that my Best-of-the-2000s series will continue to 2012, while other blogs finished their lists about a year ago, I'll try to do it as a little bit of both. I'll also keep developing the blog. The URL will stay the same for now, but if some morning you won't find it in the old address, try to change the letter as well. And now, to business.

You know what we haven't had in a while? Pointless lists of awesomely shitty movies I haven't seen yet. Having a little more ambition with this blog certainly didn't mean you would get rid of those. So, like a zombie or the Dark Knight, here's another installment in our exciting series.

ALLUDA MAZAAKA! (1995)



Some of my friends have seen this batshit insane Indian actioner and say it's the greatest thing since the domestication of the horse. Unfortunately the link of the awesome tractor fight from the film has been removed from YouTube, but at least this scene is some compensation for it.

AMERICAN COMMANDOS (1982)



It's the Philippenean Death Wish meets Delta Force - and so much more including a ninja picture.

BILLY THE KID VS. DRACULA (1966)
http://www.youtube.com/v/AjgJ3gMF2sk?fs=1&hl=fi_FI

This is a match I'd like to see! Although I do hope Billy has some Blade-like garlic weapons or something or this'll be a one-sided match.

CEMETARY MAN (Dellamote, dellamorte, 1994)



I'm not entirely sure if all of this comedy is intentional or not. This could be the italian Evil Dead II.
"Why?! You were always so understanding!"

THE CRIPPLED MASTERS (1979)
http://bit.ly/bcl85N

If people missing limbs can play music, they can do kung-fu too!

DARK ANGEL (a.k.a. I come in Peace, 1990)



Dolph Lundgren vs. a Mortal Kombat-powered alien! YES!

E'GAD, ZOMBIES! (2010)
http://bit.ly/65gXrh

Ian McKellen in a period zombie film?! Yes, please!

THE DRAGON LIVES AGAIN (1977)
http://bit.ly/bez3

If you don't want to see Bruce Lee meet (and fight) Popeye and James Bond, you're dead to me.

HALF A LOAF OF KUNG FU (1980)
http://bit.ly/d5snxg

But Jackie Chan doesn't meet Popeye...
...Jackie Chan BECOMES Popeye. Mind = blown.

JACK FROST (1964)



This is crazy film based on a a Russian folk tale, not the Michael Keaton snowman movie, although that sounds awful too.

L'EXECUTEUR
http://bit.ly/bVTzer

This is the sort of thing most french movies would need. Take notes, Godard.

MATANGO - ATTACK OF THE MUSHROOM PEOPLE (1963)
http://bit.ly/MjYCn

I wonder what shrooms the makers were on?

MYSTICS IN BALI (1981)



I see Re-Animator got some ideas here - but toned them down. This is one of the most fucked-up-looking films I've ever seen!

NORWEGIAN NINJA (2010)
http://bit.ly/cCvvA3

I have a thing for Scandinavian ninja movies.

THE ONE-ARMED EXECUTIONER (1983)
http://bit.ly/9a9XVl

The first Bobby Suarez film I-wanna-see, inspired by the documentary Machete Maidens Unleashed.

OUTLAND (1981)
http://bit.ly/Wvbad

According to Empire magazine it has Sean Connery making Space his bitch. Ace.

RAZORBACK (1984)



It's got only two states of being - dangerous or dead. It being a murderous giant wild hog.

RIGHTING WRONGS (1986)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JN_xxs_8Kqg

“Over studying makes you a moron.” - tag line from Righting Wrongs.

R.O.T.O.R. (1988)
http://bit.ly/abOlBj

Or Robotic Officer Tactical Operation Research. With a name like that, you'll just know it has some robots going on a rampage!

THE SUPER INFRAMAN (1975)



This chinese Ultraman-clone seems to be even more insane.

TIGER ON THE BEAT (1988)
http://bit.ly/181Rn9

I heard from trustworthy sources that this is mad as hell. Chainsaw fights and the lot. And seems to be cheerfully misogynistic to boot. Nice.

THE TOUGHEST MAN IN THE WORLD (1984)
http://bit.ly/9HsTOg

I miss Mr T. The T used to mean Tough.

WHEELS ON MEALS (1984)
http://bit.ly/aP5KGD

Nothing silly about this one, just seems kickass enough for my tastes.

WHO KILLED CAPTAIN ALEX? (2010)



Seriously THIS is how to do low budget films. Uganda rules!

ZOMBIE LAKE (1981)
http://bit.ly/4ymFRC

Dead Snow didn't invent nazi zombies, although they weren't as lovelorn in that one.